"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
