So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
can u get pink eye on your cock?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
