just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
