Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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