I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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