Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
