i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize