I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
