we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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