So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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