left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
