Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
