So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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