I think my fart just growled at me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
