Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
