Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize