I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
