You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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