I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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