like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
