how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize