I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You're a waste of cheezeits
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
