I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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