i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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