Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
