I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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