I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
