she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
