Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
