WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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