community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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