Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
