I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
