Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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