I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
