Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
