Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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