best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
