Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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