we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
