so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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