haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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