I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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