Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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