I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
