who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
