Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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