I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
