I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
