my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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