My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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