Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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