I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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