The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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