The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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