my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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