HIV tests are more positive than that guy
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
