Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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