if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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